Help!

At one point, about a year into my little adventure, a man from church approached me. He said, "my wife is going to be gone for the weekend and it's going to be just me and the kids. It would be a good time for us to hang out." I really liked this guy and his family and I was eager to learn how people who were good at this parenting thing did it. So, I was excited.

He explained that he was coaching one of his kid's soccer team at an early morning game on Saturday so, we should show up just as the game was scheduled to end.

When we got to their home, he told my kids, "your dad isn't here, right now, anything you need or want, just ask me, I'll take care of it." As we hung out he explained how he tried to give his kids chores that were age appropriate. He explained how this helped them feel like part of the family and helped them to take ownership of the family and the house.

You see, I didn't know that. I thought my mother had assigned me chores as a kid because she was exhausted from having to work all the time. I figured I got the jobs she was either too tired to do or didn't want to do. Since I didn't have to work anywhere near as hard as my mother had to, my kids didn't have any chores other than home work.

He took us swimming at his parent's house. They lived only a couple blocks away. When we got back he had the kids shower in assembly line fashion. They were instructed not to turn the shower off. Each kid simply let him know when they were finished and he'd send the next one in. It was a model of efficiency.

At dinner time we all piled into their mini-van to go through the drive-thru at a fast food place. It was maybe a mile away. On the way there he played the "bug game" with the kids. On the way home he told a funny family story. I noticed no one fought. All seven kids were listening to the story. My kids would have had several fights by then. I usually had music on in the car and left them to their own devices. Then I would scold them when they got bored and would start to fight. Another lesson learned.

After dinner, he and I were hanging out in his office while the kids watched television upstairs. They had a "no shouting in the house" rule. So did we but my kids broke it multiple times a day. His didn't. When he needed his two older children for something he whistled - and they showed up at his office door. I was amazed. When they came into his office they immediately went to "at ease". Military style. I was flabbergasted.

Once his business with his kids was finished he explained, "I do that so they will learn respect for this place. Respect doesn't come naturally to us. We have to be taught it." I almost wish I had taken a notebook and written everything down.

I wasn't able to put into practice everything I learned that weekend. Some I forgot. Some I simply wasn't disciplined enough to make a part of our lives. But, I got a lot of it and we continue to practice it in our family today.

The lessons from that day go on and on. And so does the rejuvenation that I received. It has been a number of years since my friend invited me to his house but, every time I remember it I am reinvigorated.

If you are a single parent, I pray that someone in your life will give you a day like this. If you are someone who knows a single parent is there any way you can think of to lighten their load for just a day? A few hours?

This man didn't have to do this for me and my family. The fact that it was in his heart to do it is a miracle. It is a miracle that continues to bless the kids and I all these years later. And I am very grateful.

That's my view from here.