Change

Adolescence wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't accompanied by puberty. The combination of the two makes for much more "excitement".

Before you get too nervous, know this. My children have forbidden me to get into any details. We're just going to keep this light and fun.

Guiding my oldest son through this period was deceptively easy. He has a strong sense of honor and responsibility. It was simple to appeal to these sensibilities and watch him as he strove to abide by them. On several different occasions I got him alone and we talked about the changes he was going through. For this, I basically used a cleaned up version of Eddie Murphy's routine from "Delirious". It kept him laughing while dealing with a potentially embarrassing subject. I let him know that every man goes through it and it is normal and healthy.

As life presented opportunities we dealt with specific issues. Pornography reared its ugly head and we talked about Biblical mandates regarding sex. We talked about harvesting what you plant. Did he want people looking at his mother that way? His little sister? No? Then should he be looking at anyone else like that? He didn't deal with porn.

In sixth grade he came to me to talk about a kid in his class that was "gay". He had a deep question. "In sixth grade, how does that kid even know?" We talked about what the Bible says regarding homosexuality. We also talked about how he was never to make fun of that child and he should speak up if anyone else did.

We talked, at length, about how no one can have sex responsibly if they don't have the means  to support the consequences for the next eighteen years. I was also open with him about how starting a family too early had hindered me from accomplishing many of my life goals. It also was detrimental to my marriage and my children because I was not ready for the responsibility. All these things seemed logical to him. Teenage sexual activity was not a problem.

I can see, now, that my approach was "accidental" wisdom. I really had no idea how to address puberty with my kids. My  honesty combined with my Biblical and practical bent worked exceptionally well with his personality. The fact that we've always had a great relationship was another vital factor. God's ridiculous grace did the rest.

Like I said, guiding him through this period was deceptively easy.

That's my view from here.