"Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away on a journey, when you are lying down and when you are getting up again. Tie them to your hands as a reminder, and wear them on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
NLT
When I was married, Bible studies with the family were fairly simple. After dinner we would sit at the kitchen table and memorize verses with the kids. We would talk a little bit about what the verse meant and simple ways to live it out.
Once I was divorced, that all changed. The youngest couldn't sit still for more than thirty seconds. So, it wasn't long before I realized the classroom method wasn't going to work for him. I let him go play while I tried to work with the older two. The middle child thought, "He was disruptive and got out of it. I'll be disruptive so I can go play." The oldest thought, "Dad is really boring. I'll tell a bunch of jokes to liven things up."
My precious family Bible studies fell apart quickly.
It wouldn't be long before the religious guilt would kick in. I would hear things from the pulpit like, "The man is the priest of the home." "Men, you need to be the spiritual leader in the home." etc.
I'd try to get "the Bible study thing" cranked up again and it would just fall apart.
This pattern continued for years.
A few years ago my daughter actually said to me, "Dad, I don't know why you insist on doing these Bible studies. They all end with you yelling at Gabe." Ouch. See what I get for teaching my children to tell the truth?
I wanted so badly to be a good father. I wanted to be like Abraham.
"I have singled him out so that he will direct his sons and their families to keep the way of the LORD and do what is right and just."
Genesis 18:19a
NLT
Finally, I decided to stop beating myself over the head with this passage of scripture from Deuteronomy. God gave us this direction as a tool to help us. He didn't say it so that He would have another excuse to torture us. That's the devil's concoction and I had gulped it down like living water.
I revisited the passage prayerfully.
The first thing I noticed was the concept of total immersion. Immersion is the best way to learn a language - or a lifestyle. When you are within a culture that is unified in its language, all you see and hear is that language and your learning curve grows exponentially. This is the way the Air Force taught me to speak, read and write Russian. This is how I was baptized.
The second thing I noticed is that the classroom method is never mentioned. I'd imposed my western educational mindset on this verse. And caused my family and myself much frustration.
Thirdly, I saw that I was to commit to a godly lifestyle and live that way in front of my children. God wants me to be my kids' primary role model.
Finally, I realized God was saying, "Always be prepared for the teaching moments day to day life presents."
I can't describe how freeing this was for all of us. A great weight has been lifted from all of our shoulders. Relationship with God is so much better than religion!
Because I am involved, this is obviously not a perfect solution. I get myopic. I can get so focused on the goal that I forget to enjoy the journey. And I forget to look for those teaching moments. But, I'm working on it and our relationships with God and each other are improving. And that's what this life is all about. Isn't it?
That's my view from here.
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