Overwhelmed

Overwhelmed. It is an intimidating word. It is also a paralyzing emotion. And the truth is that single parents get the privilege of experiencing it regularly. At least at the beginning of the single parent journey. As time goes on and we practice the art of single parenting, we tend to get better at it and we are overwhelmed less and less frequently.

The good news is that we are not alone. Joseph and, eventually all of Israel, were slaves. Job's entire family and fortune were taken from him. David soaked his bed with tears because he was powerless to change his circumstances and it appeared that God had no intentions of changing them either. Jesus sweat drops of blood. All of these men of God knew what it was to be overwhelmed.

We are in good company.

For me, many of my experiences with being overwhelmed were a direct result of the illusion of control being obliterated. I am an  American. To paraphrase Thoreau, I believe in the ability of men to improve their circumstances in life through effort. When a large number of things that are out of my control go cross ways to my will, I am reminded of how little control I really have in my life.

If not for God's grace I can't even breathe.

I have found a few "tricks" that I can use to help me get through these times.

1. Surrender    I acknowledge my powerlessness. I might pray something like, "God, I don't know but, You do. I choose to trust You." You can get more spiritual, if you like, and pray, "Not my will but, Yours be done."

2. Pray    I may just pray in tongues for a while. I may pray prayers from the Bible or other pre-written prayers. I may tell the Lord what I want the circumstances to be. It's alright to just cry.

3. Remember    I remind myself of all the times God has taken care of me before. I like to find someone who hasn't heard my testimony and tell them.

4. Plan    Praying is vital but, if all you do is pray, than they still come and repossess the car. So, I try to focus on what I can control. I don't have enough money to pay all of my bills? OK, I have some money. What are my priorities? Food, gas in the car, utilities, house payment, car payment, etc.

5.Take Action    I've found that even the smallest accomplishments go a long way toward getting me out from under the weight of being overwhelmed. The entire house is a mess? Why don't I start with the dishes? How about this one bookshelf? One load of laundry?

Before I know it, I have a load of laundry in the washer, one in the dryer, and I'm washing the dishes. I'm multitasking, making progress and the world is feeling a little safer.

We all get overwhelmed from time to time. At the beginning of the single parent experience we tend to get there more often. As we continue to learn how to do this, our skills improve and we become overwhelmed less and less. Rebuilding our lives is a process just like everything else. And the process never goes as quickly as we'd like. That's just life in our fallen world.


That's my view from here.