Ignore The Twitch

If you are a Christian, than you, most likely, fully understand the Biblical mandate of no sex outside of marriage. Having custody of my children has been the best help for me, in this area. I was not going to be bringing one night stands home with my kids there. I was not willing to to go to a hotel or someone else's home and have to lie to my children about why I hadn't come home the night before.

First living with my mother, and now have her share our home is another tremendous asset. When the kids were at their mother's for the weekend, I wasn't willing to disrespect my mother in her own home.

During this time of single fatherhood, I've had to make several business trips to other cities. One to Vegas (this was the most dangerous). Before I went, I set up accountability with people. I called home several times a day. I didn't go out in the evenings unless it was for business and with a group.

In other words: I set myself up to be successful.

I know that some are asking, "Isn't your relationship with the Lord enough for you to avoid this sin, Dean?"

Yes. That is why I take these extra precautions. I don't want to damage that relationship.

I have found it works better for me to acknowledge my weaknesses and compensate for them as best as possible. I learned in martial arts, just like life, my enemy loves to exploit my weaknesses. So I better know them and have a plan.

So, the answer to the next question is: Yes. I've abstained since before my divorce was finalized. Long before. Ignore the twitch.

I don't see this as something I am proud of. I also am not the kind of guy who sees it as a sacrifice I am honored to give to God. I really miss having sex.

But, I am my children's foremost role model. If I want them to live it. I better live it in front of them. It always comes down to putting their well being ahead of my own desires. The occasions have been rare that I've found this to be easy.

Forgiveness and fighting off bitterness have been my biggest challenges as a divorced dad. Living the Biblical mandate on sex has been a close second. It is very tough. But, it can be done.

If a knucklehead, like me, can do it, than it can't be that difficult!

I acknowledge that I am not nearly as good looking or sexy as many of the single parents out there. I also know that I don't make nearly as much money as some. Therefore I am automatically less desirable and so I get fewer opportunities to fail in this area. And for this I am grateful.

By it's very definition, abstinence is not fun - it's simply worth it.

That's my view from here.